Three More Summer Movie Madness Mumblings

The Conjuring

Yikes!  I finally found the nerve to go.  The theater was packed.  The movie scared me, yes, I’d say it was certainly a ten finger movie.  You know, some scary movies require that you peek through five fingers, well, I found myself peeking between all ten of my fingers.  I didn’t see much new here.  Same old horror. I’ve seen it all before in other stories and movies.  It didn’t have the originality that the Blair Witch Project did.  The Conjuring’s premise is: a house possessed by an evil spirit takes over a mother and makes her want to do nasty things to her children.  Then there’s an exorcism.  But just because you know that doesn’t mean you won’t SCREAM!  I give it 3.8 scary doll out of 5.


Never saw the first RED but I hear this one is the better movie.  I thought they were movies about Russians (apologies if that is npc).  Loved this movie because my expectations were low.  Such a power cast having a ton of fun, how could I not love this movie. John Malkovich finally plays a character I like, and Bruce Willis’ character is acceptable.  I especially loved Helen Mirrin and her line to Byun-hun, “Show me something” and Lee Byun-hun drifts the corvette, so that Helen can take care of the bad guys!  Gave me goose bumps.  I can’t explain it, you just have to go see for yourself!  It’s fun just to see who walks onto the set.  I give it 3.75 grenades out of 5.

Monsters University

Once you’ve seen all the other movies of the summer go see this one, especially if it’s hot out and you need to cool down somewhere.  Sit in an air-conditioned theater. Find a kid if you can, take her, too. Monsters University is the prequel to Monsters Inc. 1 and 2.  I’m not up to date on my Monsters movies.  I saw number 1 and then my son grew up, thus, I missed number 2.  But I remember loving the first movie, so much so that I actually bought a Monsters towel for the beach, for my child of course!  The  movie is cute, funny, loveable, all the things you’ve come to expect from these movies, but it’s didactic and that part of the movie clunks.  Somebody cheats in a competition. That’s all I’ll say. I don’t think it reaches the bar that the first movie, Monsters Inc., put up.  I give it 3.5 screams out of 5.

More and More Summer Movie Madness!

Saddle Shoes
Saddle Shoes

Pacific Rim

Loved it!  Yes, it has issues.  This movie has no real stars in it, except Ron Perlman (don’t know that he counts as a star, but he’s an interesting quirky character, and of course the director GDT, who seems to have a shoe fetish). Godzilla meets Transformers for grownups.  If you liked those movies you’ll like this one.  This one does a great job of making the viewer feel the clash between the titans, alien monsters hiding in the trench in the pacific rim (hence the title, which is a  little too National Geographic for my taste), and giant transformer like Rockem Sockem robots.  Okay, there are a few too many subplots: Father and daughter, brother and brother, father and son, pilot and pilot brain meld…Loved the SFX and the gritty steampunky type setting and the director’s (Guillermo del Toro) homage to his Pan’s Labyrinth’s little girl. I give it 4 Jaegers out of 5.

Chiseries Readings Rocked Pat’s Pub and Brewhouse

Between the pub Pillars, even Pat's pub regulars enjoyed the readers!
Between the pub Pillars, even Pat’s pub regulars enjoyed the readers!
Reader's answer audience questions about writing
Readers Eileen Kernaghan and Linda Demeulemeester answer audience questions about writing
Audience Relaxes between readings
Audience Relaxes between readings

Eileen Kernaghan, Linda Demeulemeester, Hiromi Goto read about talking tea drinking dragons, alien wolf-dogs and more…at Pat’s Pub and Brew House

More Movie Madness

The Lone Ranger…

…Rides again! If you love Johny Depp, no matter what, then go see this movie. I love to watch him, so he gets 5 dead crows out of 5, but the rest of the movie, well, the words, Little Big Man – very light, come to mind. If you like westerns, desert, heat, dust, and train robberies and train wrecks you’ll like it. I think this movie had too many writers, too many cooks spoiled the broth. The more interesting story here is Tonto’s but it doesn’t get a chance to develop because this show is called The Lone Ranger, not Tonto’s Quest. Now, you’ll probably want to read my next string of words twice, but there are zombie bunnies in this movie, YES, you read it right, zombie bunnies, and why not? This movie appears to want to be the fantasy version of westerns the way Cowboys and Aliens was the science fiction version of westerns, but it doesn’t go far enough. I won’t mention the lack of chemistry between Depp and Armie Hammer. I give the movie 2 silver bullets out of 5.
white bunnywhite bunnywhite bunnywhite bunny

Movie Madness

Okay, movie madness hits. I’ve seen two in the last few days, The Heat with Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy and Man of Steel. I went to The Heat to get out of the heat in Vancouver, and I’m a Sandra fan and becoming a Melissa fan.

I see the movie is rated a 7 out of 10. I’d give it 7.5 bullets out of 10. A female cop buddy movie — my biggest comment — way too late in coming. The movie seems dated to me. Maybe the heat got to my head, but this seemed like an old script that perhaps Mel Gibson and company turned down so they did it with females. This style of movie was popular in the ’80′s only with guy leads (Lethal Weapon with Mel Gibson and Danny Glover, Beverly Hills Cop with Eddie Murphy and Judge Reinhold). Girls you shoulda’ done this one sooner.

It had other problems, like it sagged in the middle. The movie needed its own set of Spanks, but it had its funny spells. Sandra’s nice to look at and Melissa is hilarious, nice combo.

Man of Steel                                      superman

When did Superman become an alien? Have I missed something? I mean I know he’s from Krypton and all, but when did he become science fiction? I don’t like that.

What can I say about that except that the back story was too long, and too science fictiony, and there was way too much senseless fighting, and did I mention the lack of chemistry between Amy Adams and Henry Cavill, oh, yeah, and the dialogue, yikes. One more thing, ‘S’ doesn’t stand for Superman!

The young supermans were great. Kevin Costner and Nick Cage are starting to look alike. This movie was a quilt of scenes that weren’t seamless. I wanted to watch Russell Crowe and Ayelet Zurer, forget Superman.

Movie goers who like to watch minute after minute of destruction will love this one. I give it 2 capes out of 5.

Zombies unite!  And form a daisy chain

Zombies unite! And form a daisy chain

World War Z

Okay, I liked it a lot, but I am a Zombie fan. The audience clapped for it at the end. Is that a Canadian thing? I always giggle when the audience claps. Brad Pitt is good as the ‘only-I-can-save-the world’ hero. Mireille Enos is a doting mom and brave wife. It’s a bit derivative, borrowing from Tom Cruise’s War of the Worlds, especially the scenes in the van where they try to get their panicking daughter to go to her happy place, and the traffic scenes. I see a bit of I am Legend in there (family gets away in a helicopter on the top of a building), a pinch of 2012 (flying around in an airplane where it’s a lot safer) and a dollop of Signs as an asthmatic daughter needs be talked down from her breathing attack. Is that even possible? I have asthma and am never far away from my inhaler. Then there’s the modern wall of Jericho…interesting. Still, a good ‘jump- in- your- seat zombie fest. I give it 3.5 pieces of fingers out of 5.